


Talking.

by MrsACrichton



Category: Farscape
Genre: Angst, Drinking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Friendship, Season/Series 04, Talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-15
Updated: 2015-05-15
Packaged: 2018-03-30 16:13:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3943210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsACrichton/pseuds/MrsACrichton
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set during season 4.<br/>Unable to sleep one night Aeryn confines in Chiana about her future on Moya with or without John.</p><p>High in Angst.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Talking.

"Frell" She swore under her breath, kicking off the blanket, she breathed out .

'That frelling erp man' She thought to herself.  
She couldn't sleep. Aeryn hadn't had a good nights sleep without his arms around her.

"Dren" She missed his arms around her.  
Aeryn sat up in her bed and swung her legs over the side of the bed, her empty almost cold bed, and breathed deeply.

Unexpected tears threatened to cascade down her face.  
Aeryn mentally chastised herself for needing someone, for being weak.

'A Peacekeeper is not meant to be weak' She repeated to herself quietly. 

 

Her body protested at the run around Moya's corridors and passageways.

Her lungs hurt, her heart was pounding when she stopped outside the centre chamber.  
She was thirsty now.

Finding water to drink, Aeryn sat down.  
It was several microds before she felt like she was being watched.

"Mind if I join you?" Chiana asked her from the doorway.  
Aeryn nodded without turning to look at the Nabari.

"What are you doing awake" Aeryn asked still not looking at Chiana.  
"Could ask you the same" Chiana replyed. She picked up a food cube and eat.

"I never thought he would tell Crichton"  
"But he did" Aeryn said bitterly, a tear ran unchecked down her face. "How do I get John back" Aeryn asked after a microds silence.  
Her voice shook with emotion that Chiana had not heard before.

Aeryn had never known emotional pain like it before, until her John died on Talyn. She still felt that pain.  
To see the only man she ever truly loved and needed die in her arm, to feel life leave him. Aeryn had cryed until she could breathe, shouted till her voice was gone, pleaded and begged to let her John live.

"On Talyn, we were .... so perfect" Aeryn said finally " I came back for him, to be with him and he pushes me away. How do I make it up to him."

Chiana sat opposite Aeryn in the centre chamber and passed her a bottle of Raslak. Aeryn took it putting her glass of water behind her, she took a long gulp of the alcohol.

"Have you told him that the pregnancy is different from a human pregnancy?" Chi asked gently. Aeryn shook her head.  
"He wont let me talk to him. Without a surgeon, it wont grow. In a few cycles it'll die and the problem will be over"  
"But that's not what you want." Chi asked. "Is it really what you want?"  
"No. There were times on Talyn that were so perfect" Aeryn said looking at Chiana now. "It was never about recreating, reducing fluid levels like it was with other Peacekeepers. with him it was different, amazing. I would wake up each morning with him, his arms around me. I miss that, him next to me, how do I get him back?" Aeryn took another swig from the bottle and swallowed. "I miss him, This child is mine. I should have never come back, I should have never let scorpious save me from the heat delirium."

Chiana had never heard what happened on Talyn, how Aeryn and the other Crichton had gotten together, Rygel wouldn't tell her no matter what she did/said/threatened to do.

"I'm sorry for telling D' Argo, really I am. I didn't think he would then go and tell John. I am so glad you did come back, if you didn't I'd be stuck with the new tralk and wrinkles ." Chiana said gently.

Aeryn stood still holding the bottle.  
"It hurts, the way he looks at me. I am trying to do what he said, he keeps pushing me away, like I did the second cycle we were here on Moya. Things are different now. It hurts that I can never kiss him again, can never feel him inside me, never see the look in his eyes, never to feel his arms around me. To never be able to tell him ....... that I love him." Aeryn was crying now. Chiana put her arms around her as Aeryn could no longer stand and it was not because of the drink.

"How do I get him back, Chi?"  
"Keep trying"  
"I cant keep trying, either I'm with him or I cant stay here on Moya"  
"You cant leave again"  
"I came back for John, he's made his feelings clear. He doesn't love me anymore not in the way I love him." Aeryn sighed. "I was not pregnant before I came on Moya Chi, I never recreated with Crais or anyone else, just him."

 

Outside he stood almost holding his breath, listing to the voices in the centre chamber. He'd woken up when the sound of boots running past his room. He had seen Aeryn sprinting passed his room and wondered if she was ok, clearly she wasn't. At least not form the way the conversation had gone.

the last sentence caught his attention.  
'shit what have I done'

 

End


End file.
